Look up to see what God is doing

Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. Genesis 21:19 NIV

I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days about how short-sighted I can be.  At times very inward-focused on troubling circumstances rather than considering God. Surely you and I are the same, each with both personal situations and an orbit of people and persistent problems or crises whose details trouble, frighten or seem to multiply.

Reading about Hagar’s situation when she was abruptly shoved out of the household of the richest man in the neighborhood, I thought about how she would have processed this sudden turn of events. She tumbled from a high-status position as the mother of Abraham’s first-born son, to being an outcast whose son, now a teenager, was going to die of thirst because they had run out of water. Looking horizontally at her circumstances, there was no way out.

But God! He spoke to her, painting a picture of the reality that he had planned, a staggeringly amazing future for Ishmael. Stunned and lightened by such hope-birthing words, she lifted her head to see beyond her immediate problem. That’s when she spotted the thirst-quenching, life-giving well.

Numerous examples of similar corrected vision dot the scriptures.

• Then the LORD opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD. Numbers 22:31 NIV

• Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua 5:13 NIV

So, what is it that has you feeling hopeless?  Maybe it’s the state of the world with irreconcilable wars and conflicts, or the politics of your nation that feel futile. Or maybe the rapid decline of morality in our cultures, even in some of our churches. 

For me, I carry concern over my mother-in-law’s physical decline and lack of happy anticipation of her future with Jesus. Friends in my Bible study carry heavy burdens regarding children and grandchildren and I pray for these needs. Yet, from a horizontal vista, in many of these situations, nothing encouraging ‘appears’ to be happening.

Right after I read about Hagar’s upward shift of vision, I picked up a devotional where I read Jesus’ words to his sleepy men at the Gethsemane Garden. He commanded them to ‘Watch and pray’. Immediately, I connected what Jesus counseled with the value of looking up.

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. Matthew 26:41 NIV

I don’t think Jesus is warning his disciples about the temptation to fall asleep.  Rather because of Satan’s whispered doubts, they and we fall into discouragement, fear and anxiety.  We count the odds instead of counting on God.  But we are to be like watchmen on a castle’s ramparts looking for the help that has been promised.  And we are to pray. That is, to lay before the Savior of the world what we ‘see’ and then tell the truth of what God has done, is doing, can do and has promised to do. We can be like Job whose words in 34:32 go: ‘Show me what I do not see!’.  Then we can add, ‘Father, protect me AGAINST these temptations to doubt and worry.’

So, for the last few days, I’ve been repeating out loud several times a day ‘Watch and Pray’. I don’t want to miss what God is doing.

Apparently, the Spirit of God wants to make sure I get his message loud and clear. For, last night when I was thumbing through a book filled with liturgies for work (Every Moment Holy, Volume III, The Work of the People), I came across a margin reference to  Colossians 4:2, along with the words:

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful, (Berean Standard Bible)

Besides watching, praying and thanking God as he brings about solutions to our burdens, we are also to be alert, keeping a look out for his imminent arrival. It’s a true statement, ‘we are nearer today than we’ve ever been in history’.

So, pick up this short mantra for yourselves, Watch and pray, and fill yourself with real hope.  And pass it along to someone else whose eyes are downcast.

Is it a sin to express the darker emotions?

“Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.” Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. When He rose up from prayer, and had come to His disciples, He found them sleeping from sorrow. Luke 22: 42-45 NKJV

Do you ever find yourself afraid of what awaits you in the future? Potential losses or disappointments?

Or course the Bible describes in detail our Father’s good plans for us, plans to give us a land (work) fertile enough to produce what we need and to share with others. But we also know that Jesus promised suffering in this world.

I’ve occasionally shared with a close friend that it’s not MY personal suffering I dread. Rather I project or imagine the pain I would feel if one of my family members were to suffer loss.  It’s other people’s pain that I fear I can’t handle.  These disordered dreads go back to childhood patterns my parents unconsciously modeled and taught me. Only in the last couple of years have I been realizing that I might not need to fear OTHER people’s feelings. A new idea has recently helped me in this growth.

Last week, to my surprise AND my relief I found someone articulating exactly what I have lived with, this misty dread of the future. On page 179 in her recent book, The Garden Within, Anita Phillips writes:

“Sometimes we say we trust God even when we’re not sure that we do.  It can be hard to sit in the presence (of God) when you’re not sure you’re safe there.  Not trusting God is the same as being afraid of God. But it’s okay to share your fears with the Creator.  It’s okay to say that you are afraid of what might happen. That you are afraid of what God might allow.”

After I read and reread her words and let them sink in, I thought about Jesus in Gethsemane and how an angel strengthened him.

In the worst of the most unimaginable sufferings ever experienced by a man, gazing into the hell he was about to go through, the Father fortified him to bear up. Rereading the text’s timeline surprised me.  First came the angel alongside of Jesus divinely strengthening him.  THEN began the horror.  Don’t you find it strange that Jesus endures ‘agony’ to the point of excreting bloody sweat at THIS point, and not on the cross? 

Could it be that God gives us space to imagine the worst?  To feel the future sadness that loss might bring?  I think so.

But as believers, we are left alone in our suffering or even our thoughts of potential, future suffering. God has placed within us something better than an angel, himself as permanent Comforter and Provisioner.

Therefore, I don’t need to fear deep emotions like grief, whether mine or someone else’s.

I should know this because, even if for a few moments, when I let Mike in on what I am going through or what hurts, I feel better.  Patience and genuine empathy radiate from him.  If a fellow human being can bring relief by just sitting with us in it, surely God does that even more.

With Jesus as our model, you and I should feel relief in knowing that God welcomes ALL of our emotions. No need to stuff them or bear them alone. Nor is it a sin to get angry or to fear the scary. The sinless Savior freely expressed joy, love, satisfaction, disappointment, unmet longings, anger, grief, hurt, depression and fear. And he practiced what he taught. Look at how he ‘gets up’ after wrestling with God in prayer. With a peace-filled settled heart, he turns to give a hand to his disciples who are exhausted by all that is happening. We, too, can experience peace each time we return to the Lord.

My takeaway after meditating a while on all this, is that you and I can ‘approach the throne of grace’. When we turn back to Jesus and get real with him, that is when we confess or ‘truth tell’ as Jamie Winship calls it, we receive his consoling fortification via the ComFORTer.

Since he has given us his promises to soak in, I take them to heart. The most reassuring and perfect one in this week’s experience has been from Psalm 112: 1, 7 (NIV):

…..blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands…….. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

Yes, we are promised sorrow, but listen to Jesus’ assurance to you and to me:

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33 NLT

Can we trust our emotions?

As with any query, such as the one about our feelings, before we try to answer it, we need more information. Questions like ‘Why do you ask?’ come to mind or ‘Trust our emotions for what?’

If it’s wisdom for what to do in a particular situation, that’s one thing. But many Christians have been taught as a general principle NOT to let their feelings ‘drive the bus’, that is, govern or direct their lives.

Listening to a recent podcast interview by Christopher Cook with Dr. Anita Phillips, I became convinced that our emotions or feelings are important signals that represent a need we have. And just as we don’t ignore our bodies when they indicate hunger or thirst, we needn’t be afraid to explore what are probably other needs.

Consider the story of the two brothers, sons of Adam and Eve. God talks to Cain about his offering, the one NOT accepted by God:

Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why is your face gloomy? Genesis 4:6 NASB

If you look up the Hebrew term for angry, you’ll find, ‘to be furious, to burn with anger’.  Cain is not annoyed, he’s blazing mad.

Okay, so if feelings are our body’s way of communicating a need, what did Cain lack?   The clue is in the next verse:

If you do well, will you not be accepted? Genesis 4:7 ESV

God can read Cain like a book and he knows his deepest desire is to be recognized and praised as his younger brother Abel was.  I imagine he felt slighted and neglected. After all, he was the older brother. Shouldn’t he have been singled out for God’s smile?

You might push back, offering another possible scenario such as:  Maybe Cain didn’t know the type of offering that would please God. 

That’s a fair question, but don’t you think if that were the case, he might have reacted with perplexity or even asked God why his offering was rejected?

How his body reacted with fury and a scowl cause me to think he might have planned to get by with a ‘cheaper’ offering.  Maybe his desire was not to please God out of love and gratitude but to just get the praise in the least costly way.  His gloomy face tells me that he knew what God wanted and his over-the-top temper could also be fueled by shame in being found out.

But look at God’s kindness in his response.  Our Father offered him a path to the acceptance he craved. In essence God says, ‘It’s not too late.  If you offer what pleases me, I will look with favor on you and you will feel my pleasure, acceptance and love.’

Cain’s story does not end well.  But it is highly useful to us. This past weekend I have dug around, searching for the truths I could benefit from in his encounter with God. I thank Him for the podcast I listened to on the plane coming back from Europe. That plus this reading have pushed me to ponder some very negative emotions in the last several days. 

Friday, we were at La Guardia airport in NYC on our last leg of a great two weeks in Italy.  We had flown in from Milano the previous day and spent the night in a drenched city still being tossed about by heavy rains.  The following morning there was flooding and yet more rain.  As we sat at the gate, still tired from the trans-Atlantic journey, I fell into worry and fear: ‘What if our flight is cancelled or delayed or we have to spend another night in NYC?’

I had to confess over and over my doubts and pathetic faith.  ‘Forgive me, Father. Lead me not into the temptation to fear!’

The good news is that God DID get us out of NYC in time. And by mid-afternoon we pulled into our driveway in sunny Huntsville. What mercies from our God!

But I was bothered by my reaction. Since then, I’ve spent time journaling and thinking about what these strong emotions were communicating to me. What needs did they indicate?

Clearly, I needed God’s assurance of his presence and provision, no matter the circumstances.  And I now realize that Satan was whispering lies that I took as my own thoughts. ‘What if this or what if that?’ In the midst of this battle, I could not remember the invisible reality that God’s word declares, that he is our refuge amidst the storms.  I did not believe he would provide for us in our weariness.  I did not trust I would have sufficient energy to handle my disappointment as well as Mike’s were ‘the worst’ suggestion from Satan to materialize. And I condemned myself for pathetic faith.

Now, 3 days later, I realize our Father doesn’t condemn us.  He knows we are weak.  The blessing of this experience is that I am now on alert to connect strong negative emotions to needs. No, I’m not allowing my emotions to lead me. But I’m no longer going to stuff them, or bypass them.  I want to use these God-given indicators to go inward, to discover what my body, soul, spirit and mind are communicating.

And I want to recall at all times that we have a compassionate Father. Here’s a new favorite verse I’m going to pull out ‘next time’ I find myself in a dire situation:

if you can do anything (Jesus), have compassion on us and help us. Mark 9:22 ESV

Do you believe the minority report?

While He was still speaking, people came from the house of the synagogue official, saying, “Your daughter has died; why bother the Teacher further? But Jesus, overhearing what was being spoken, said to the synagogue official, “Do not be afraid, only believe. Mark 5:35-36 NASB

You’ve heard it said that God doesn’t waste any of our sufferings. That he works them for our good.  John Piper, pastor and theologian, has angled this principle in a challenging way, encouraging believers themselves NOT to waste the suffering appointed for them.

My daughter-in-law asked me the other day about sleep irregularities, “What do you think the Lord is showing you?”   Useful question, for it reenforced the truth that we should always be praying as did Job, ‘Teach me what I do not see!’ (34:32)

My latest adventure has been into the world of pain.  Specifically, hip and back pain. Today is day 65. (Yes, I’m keeping a record of this journey).

‘Father, this pain seems to have gotten worse in the last week.  I’m afraid I won’t get better!’ I confessed yesterday morning.  Mark gave me the first scriptural exhortation NOT to fear, but instead to trust what Jesus says and does. A little while later, the Holy Spirit asked, ‘Have you truly handed this pain and fear over to the Lord?’ I responded, ‘How can I, when IT keeps coming back each time I move?’ He shot back, ‘That’s a false report. This is only psychological warfare, employed by the enemy. Don’t believe it.’

This morning, my hip hurt even in bed. Once up, coffee at hand, I journaled to encourage myself: ‘The evidence points to ongoing ‘pain’.  But I will not fear.  I will trust you, Jesus.  No weapon formed against me will succeed, neither poor sleep, nor pain, nor any other distraction. Help me!  I bring my total self to you, Father, Lord, Spirit, Holy Three, worthy of my full attention.  I know you are working this pain for my good, as you do with all affliction and suffering.’

What next came to mind stunned me. A resolve, a conviction. I’m not going to believe the ‘Minority Report’ of:

• My flesh
• The world, or….
• Satan

Instead, I am going to believe the ‘Majority Report’ of:

1. 66 Biblical writers
2. The Holy Spirit
3. Jesus
4. Father God
5. All the angels in heaven
6. the ‘Crowd of Witnesses’ who have gone on before me
7. Phil and Adrienne, my 2 physical therapists.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but this day, I will look to the Lord.

More powerful than nuclear fission

Imagine being employed at a nuclear power plant.

Maybe you serve in administration or prepare food in the employee cafeteria, or manage safety checks.  Whatever your role, I imagine you are hyper aware of the magnitude of power being produced, contained and directed in your work place.

But do you actually FEEL all that power as you walk about during your shift?  Most likely not, but you certainly believe it exists and respect it.

We, as believers, actually house a greater force than the sum of all nuclear power available to our world.  His name is God and he is in us through his spirit.

Some of us feel bothered that we don’t always FEEL or sense God’s presence or power with or within us. Maybe we read of experiences of some Bible characters and envy them. For my friends and family members who long to encounter God in that more tangible way, I plead with the Lord, that until they do, they may walk by faith, trusting in God’s love and stockpiled power and provision for them. 

Not hearing personally from God can feel dark and heavy.  Job certainly was a man who despaired ever of hearing from the God he trusted.

Do you know a fellow believer who moves in and out of this kind of shadowy fear, because of oppressing thoughts? Someone who struggles to REST in the God-given power received when God transferred OUT of the gloomy Kingdom of Isolating Fear and Shame and into the Kingdom of Light, Hope and Family Belonging?

Pastor Scotty Smith calls these places where some dwell ‘waterless pits of gloom’.

There were those who dwelt in darkness and in the shadow of death, Prisoners in misery and chains….in misery…..Psalm 107:10 NASB 1995

But God be praised, Jesus came to set them and us FREE!

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, Luke 4:18 NLT

 Just as those in the nuclear power industry do not doubt but rather respect the energy at their disposal, so too WE should rest in the sure knowledge of God’s power available to us by faith through his spirit given to us.

Oh, dear friends, I pray that this Easter Sunday, all of us may feel the glory of a new kind of shade and light.  Not a heavy, gloomy oppressive shadow but a restful, refreshing shade and an energizing, restorative light.

Linger here in this place of acceptance and accept the invitation to fellowship with Jesus in his banquet house.

From Song of Solomon 2:3b-4, here are the lyrics for Bairstow’s choral peace that will feed your soul and heart.

 I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.

YouTube link to one short rendition

Do you ever show up in the wrong theater, using the wrong script?

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Isaiah 30:21 ESV……for I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD. Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

The fear started a few days ago.

After receiving a confrontative response to some back-and-forth communication I had initiated, I knew I had to seek peace with someone in my life.  Listening again to my initial audio message, I saw how I had led off in a rambling indirect way that this person had found very off-putting.  I’m learning that she is very direct.  In contrast, my approach had followed a stream-of-conscious, “I’m thinking of doing such-and-such and wanted to run it by you.” She misheard my rambling words and took them in a way I had not intended. Her swift aggressive response stunned me.

I called her several times before we connected and did my best to mend the rift, apologizing for my way and my words.  I think we’re back to a kind of equilibrium. But the exchange, very uncomfortable for me, left me sobered, chagrined and battling fear.

Early the next morning, I laid out before the Lord all that had happened and asked him to settle me and bring me peace.  What was I afraid of? I told Jesus, „I don’t trust myself to think next time before I speak.  I am afraid that I will NOT be able to communicate with clear and precise language.  I’ve been known to say LOTS of things I later regret.  I’m not good at pausing to choose my words well.”

The Lord tackled the very existence of my fear.  First, he reminded me that I don’t belong to the Kingdom of Fear anymore. As Paul writes, For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, Colossians 1:13 NASB

What does darkness represent? Fear and uncertainty!  The dark hides scary and dangerous situations.  Satan loves to suggest and then stoke tiny fear thoughts within us until they dominate our minds. But if we remember that now as ‘new creations’ who ‘live and move and have our being’ in Jesus’ Kingdom, then we can relax knowing that the air we breathe contains not one fear-molecule.

As I journaled, I saw how I’m going to need to practice noticing each time a fear pops into my mind. Since that morning I’ve been asking myself, “Maria, is that a fear thought about something happening today?”

If the answer is ‘yes’, then that’s my cue to confess it and turn back to the One I am called to trust that day.

If it’s just a hypothetical future scenario that scares me, then I’m predicting what tomorrow’s God-directed script will be. And I have NO perspective from which to see the entire cast and what has occurred up to now. I’m just living in my skin.

Each morning, we meet the Lord in prayer and receive our assignment for the day.  Yes, there is a daily plan in Jesus’ Kingdom theater.  We are to look to our Director for his cues and play whole-heartedly the role He has assigned to us.

Frankly, most of the time my day feels like I’m just ‘improving’.  I don’t know what comes next. But trusting in my Holy Spirit coach, I proceed as best as I can. There’s no need to worry, because all of us in the Son’s cast can be assured that in the end all will work out according to the Lord’s good plan. 

So, why are we plagued by reoccurring fears?  I think that this practice is but a holdover from one of the old scripts we used to follow when we played bit actors in Satan’s show.

But that was before our rescue and transfer into the new Kingdom. We are indeed new creations with roles to play/live out.

As I lay down to sleep each night, I’m trying to remind myself that tomorrow’s scenario is nothing I can predict. God is so creative and is using all that happens today as part of tomorrow’s plan.  My perspective as one of numerous ‘beloved bit players’ is so limited that to worry tonight about what might occur tomorrow is stupid and a waste of time.

My assignment is to rest and trust the One who gives his beloved sleep. (Psalm 127:2)

Adding to my spiritual toolkit

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will_______…… Habakkuk 3:17,18 ESV

Anne and I have been talking about one’s particular, received identity that Jesus gives if we ask him.  If we listen to Jesus, open to what he communicates over time, he will guide us to know that specific distinctiveness we bring to every part of our lives.  As in: ‘Maria, child of God by grace, called to BE a _____.’

Out of that identity, flows purpose.  Since God intentionally created each one of us as one-of-a-kind family members and gave us life in a specific time and place, it is not unreasonable that he calls us to BE a certain person. Jamie Winship and others teach Christians how to hear and receive one’s particular identity and calling.

Something Anne wrote in a text this week has gotten me thinking.  Not looking forward to traveling during Thanksgiving week with a baby and 3 children, she found a way to deal with her anxiety. 

What works for her is to describe the scenario that has her anxious. Then, as she looks that square in the face, she reminds herself that her identity as ‘nurturer’ is something she can continue to ‘work’, no matter what.

That is not to say that she nurtures out of her own strength and wisdom.  She depends on the Lord for his supernatural, ongoing presence to be with her as she brings life to whomever she is with. Whether in the ‘best of times’ or the ‘worst of times’.

I like this approach.  It provides space to be real with God and then to acknowledge that our ‘work’ does not change, no matter the circumstances.  Anne can always nurture someone, even when she herself is undergoing trials.

Ever since I read the Winship book and listened to his trainings, I have been thinking and praying through what I believe is my Jesus-given identity.  Tentatively, I believe I am ‘gently provoking beacon’.

I’ve been a ‘provocatrice’ since my teen years.  Pop used to say, “Maria, you’ve got to stop pulling wings off of flies!’  He meant that I needlessly (and with a mean spirit) stirred the pot, saying things to people to provoke a reaction.

That’s the destructive side of this identity.  But over many years, Jesus has slowly gentled me.  Provoking someone to make them squirm is far different than using a question to stimulate an interest in God.

When I researched the etymology of ‘to provoke’, I found that the Latin root means ‘to call forth or stimulate the appetite for….’

That is something I DO practice. A lot. But gently, and often with a thought-provoking question. My desire is always to shed light on some aspect of God, that might be new to the person.

What encourages me is that the actions that follow from my identity are not constrained by circumstances.

At first, I wasn’t sure if ‘worst-case-futurizing’ might be healthy, but now I see the wisdom in Anne’s approach. She doesn’t dwell on that picture. She simply faces it, I think, and concludes, ‘Well, if that’s the worst, I can still be who God has called me to be.’

Applying this approach personally, I foresee that identity-prompting actions will also shift my attention away from possible circumstances and back to the present and to the person in front of or next to me.

Father, fortify me with your grace to do as Anne, recalling that mindful of my identity, who I am and what you call me to do are gifts.

Another tool to fight fear

Humble yourself……casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 ESV

My mom used to say, “Maria, most things we worry about never come to pass!”

I know Mom believed that, yet she still struggled with fear and worry. As do I.

If we Christians look simply at the low probability of our fears coming to pass and don’t find peace in statistics, then surely with God’s presence, character and promises we will be free from anxiety. One would think. But I don’t think that is the case for most of us.

Sunday, at church Katie shared something that is helping her to let go of worry and fear. One of our pastors’ wives mentioned it in a Bible study and Katie has passed this nugget of freedom onto me.

“Worry is assuming the worst outcome.”

I have been turning that thought over and over in my mind since Katie blessed me with this definition. Notice she did not use the verb to ‘imagine’ the terrible.  To assume is a much stronger action. It’s to take as true, as real, as FACT, even.

I am beginning to notice just how often fear thoughts drop into my mind.  Maybe that’s normal for all humankind. What troubles me is the ease with which I accept those projections as true and start to worry.

After my week with Anne in El Paso, I am consciously practicing catching myself each time this happens. And I am learning to respond with:  I reject you, Fear!

These depressing visions of the future spring from my imagination. An imagination I have trained to assume the worst outcome.

But rational thinking would pause and ask:

• What is the statistical probability that this is happen? Telling the truth helps.
• And if ‘it’ DID come to pass, what would be the implication? Would it really be that awful? Habakkuk faced the possible reality of food scarcity and forecast his reaction in this worst-case scenario.

The Holy Spirit is helping me move toward freedom from fear IN Christ. For example, this morning, the verses below popped into my Prayermate feed.

The righteous…..they do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them. Psalm 112:6-7 NLT

I wrote this in my journal:

“When bad news comes or a major problem arises, instead of assuming the worst outcome, I choose from this day forward to assume a God-directed good outcome.”

The situation or the problem might have a harmful effect, but I am daring to opt for believing God when He says that His grace will be sufficient and that He is working ALL circumstances for long-term good for those who love God and whom He has called.

Although I am 65, it is NOT too late to change my modus operandi. For far too long I have kept myself in that waterless pit of fear that Bunyan referred to as the Castle of Giant Despair.

I’m not afraid of that mountain!

Then he said to me, “This is what the Lord says to Zerubbabel: It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.  Nothing, not even a mighty mountain, will stand in Zerubbabel’s way; it will become a level plain before him!  Zechariah 4: 6-8 NLT

What looms as an impassable mountain in your life these days?

For us, it’s been getting Mike and Steve’s mom from Seattle to Asheville.  She’ll be 94 mid-month. After a hospital stay in July, she has had to use a wheelchair to supplement her former total reliance on a walker.  When she did not bounce back after three weeks in rehab, she realized she could no longer live independently in her retirement center.

The ’mountain’ facing all of us has been her recuperation and emptying out of her apartment in preparation for her move back East, near Mike’s brother Steve and his wife. In August all that loomed large. I felt totally overwhelmed by what lay ahead. 

But now, this first week in November, the mountain has grown smaller. Steve and Mike, the brothers and Eve and I Mom’s daughters-in-law have been working out one detail after the other.  Mom has remained pretty cheery despite the emotional stress of leaving the Pacific Northwest where she has lived for over 50 years.  But downsizing with all the  letting go of possessions, some yellow with memories, has been painful.

When I read God’s words this morning, I felt the power and truth behind them. I DO trust the Lord that before too long Mom will be settled into her new surroundings, with the circumstantial mountain in distant view. 

Yet, I recognize that the Lord will bring us face to face with other seemingly insurmountable issues.  I want to hold on to the Bible’s supernatural facts to fight the fear that likely will come:

1) No power of mine will avail in difficult circumstances.

2) The Holy Spirit alone is sufficient for the situation.

3) With God, what looks like an imposing obstacle will become as gentle as a rolling green meadow.  

One of the Lord’s overall principles and promises is that we are NOT to fear scary things. Isaiah 8:13 records this truth: It is the Lord of armies whom you are to regard as holy. And He shall be your fear and He shall be your dread.

Father, help us to order our fears.

And cause us to remember that when we deal with frightening circumstances, we can be peaceful for you have said that you will be with us as we walk in those valleys filled with menacing shadows.

May I honor you as I take you at your word, trusting your goodness and power.

Will my enemies ever depart?

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Psalm 23:5 NASB

I had set aside Saturday morning to do a guided meditation on Psalm 23.  Question number three was: Do you feel anointed, set apart?

I thought I understood the context of this Hebrew word from years of reading through our Bible.  Hasn’t it been kings who were anointed?  In our age, it’s we Christians who have been set apart by God for holiness.  My mind sped to Ephesians 2:10:  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. NASB

When I deep-dived into the Hebrew for ‘anointed – dashan’, I stepped into an entirely different world. For sure, kings have been anointed or appointed for certain roles. The prophet Samuel anointed first Saul as king and then his successor David.

But the first meaning for this Hebrew term staggered me. My Hebrew reference did not mention king-naming but how God ‘fattens’ his people.  Anointing oil moistens our heads, enriching us, prospering us, satisfying us, accepting us.  Look at this context from Proverbs 28:25b, The one who trusts the Lord will prosper (be made fat, be oiled up, be anointed) NASB

Lavishing joy-filling abundance on us is what George Mueller meant when he wrote: “ I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord.  The first thing to be concerned about was not, how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul in to a happy state, and how my inner man may be nourished….I saw that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God and to meditation”

What else is in Psalm 23:5 besides oil running down over our heads?  Yes, food, drink and the best company make up that banquet feast spread out for us. Yes, in the presence of all our enemies.

For me, my enemies, my ARCH-enemies are my fears, primarily anxiety about the future. I don’t imagine I’m much different from you.

I know I’m sinning against God when I try to control the future by imagining and planning for possible scenarios. Realistically, I don’t think I can stop myself from flirting with the temptation to figure out and then limit what scares me or fills me with dread.

But as soon as I catch myself falling prey to that fear trap, I can draw back and confess it to Jesus. Because our world 1.0 is broken, full of sinning people(us included) and much evil, enemies will always surround me. What I have taken away lingering in Psalm 23 is the ever-present feast available to those Jesus has anointed.

My practice so far has been to acknowledge the fear, tell the truth about it to Jesus, and ask for his cleansing. Then I make a 180 and direct my attention to the good food prepared to nourish me.  The Lord’s table will never run out.  His helper, the Spirit, keeps the nourishment coming as long as I show up hungry and thirsty. Night or day.

Here’s a glimpse of what fellowshipping at the King of King’s table looks like. Put yourself back in Solomon’s days.  You’re a regular at his table.  The stewards bring in great platters of warm and cold food. Wine flows freely. Nothing runs out because of their attentive service.  The kitchen doesn’t close.

And those deputies provided food for King Solomon and all who came to King Solomon’s table, each in his month; they allowed nothing to be lacking.1 Kings 4:27 NASB

This is our privilege as well. As adopted children, ‘fattened’ and welcomed at the generous table, our God provides constant care for our bodies, our spirits, and our emotions so that we are set up to flourish in his kingdom. Despite the presence of enemies.  Prosperity with enemies still out there is not mutually exclusive.

Feasting on and with Jesus while all those fears linger outside the banqueting house can be my and your reality.  Let’s turn our eyes back to Jesus and his good gifts.