Holding on tightly to what I know to be true

In faculty prayer time today, my principal mentioned how much of a battle it is every morning and throughout the day to use Biblical truths to fight unbidden thoughts and feelings that arise due to circumstances.  She exhorted us to build and cling to a high-view of God that will carry us through the day.  And since a proper picture of God only comes from soaking in His Word, we must consciously take the time to bring our minds back to the facts that we read in the Bible.  These facts are truths based on who God is, what He has promised, what He has done.

‘Katecho’ is the Greek word for ‘hold on real tight’ (Strongs # 2722).  The writer of the Letter to the Hebrews exhorts his listeners:

But Christ is faithful as a son over God’s house. And we are his house, if we hold on (katecho) to our courage and the hope of which we boast.

‘Kata’ means intensive and ‘echo’ signifies hold down, hold fast or retain.

Confidently and firmly holding on, we look to Him who rescued us and in whom we believers are built up, members of His body, the church.  He calls us to be His ambassadors, stones in His house, witnesses, servants, living for Him.

And if we let go of our confidence in Him (which can happen if we stop INTENSELY HOLDING ON TO what we know to be true of Him and of ourselves), then we fall into evil unbelief.

Do we realize that not to believe is not only a sin, but actual EVIL according to the Bible?  Stoking, nurturing, feeding, i.e. indulging our doubts IS blatant disobedience.  Don’t get me wrong, doubts fly at us all day long from other people and from Satan…but we have to fight them with biblical truth.  We have to ask for help from fellow believers and we in turn must pray for and encourage our brothers and sisters.  This is war. Naiveté is fatal. As the French rallying cry goes, ‘Aux armes, Citoyens!’ We strap on our spiritual weapons of warfare and stand firm, ready to fight!

But we don’t fight alone.  Plenty of passages encourage us to pray for what we need.  Hebrews 4:16 assures us of our privileged access to the throne and source of mercy (i.e.: compassion – He understands the pressures of the battlefield) and grace (i.e.: strength for the battles)

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may    receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

If I apply these principles to my life, it looks like this: I, Maria, need to trust God that He IS providing enough time each day to do the necessary.  It is painful for me to trust Him.  All around I see lack..lack..lack.  I tighten up and get grim.  But our pastor Byron preached a sermon a couple of weeks ago that has helped me.  Psalm 131 is very short – only 3 verses.  But the imagery is powerful.  Consider verse 2:

¹ My heart is not proud, LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
² But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.

³ Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.

I had never considered how a weaned child might feel around his mom’s breasts which heretofore had been his only source of food.  Weaned, he now has to trust her to provide for him in different ways.  Miraculously a toddler can and does lean his head, snuggling up against his mom, quietly awaiting her timely provision. He isn’t old enough to secure his own food.  He is totally dependent, but doesn’t fret because his supply (mom’s milk) is no longer available for him.

So now, when I’m tempted to give in to stress as time speeds up and tasks multiply, I affirm, “Lord, I’m resting, imagining my head against your chest, feeling your breathing, steady – in and out, comforted as I wait for you to give me just what I need this day.  Thank you for your sufficiency and faithfulness[.  Keep me close to you.  Keep me from wandering off to tend my needs.”

I’m a slow learner.  But He is patient.

 

Trust the method – It’s not all up to me!

Exodus 4:12 – Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and will teach you what you shall say

This week I’m reflecting on a parallel between

• The ‘success/results’ of my French students whom I teach with an acquisition/input based (non-text book) method
• and the ‘success/results’ of those with whom I tell the Good News about what Jesus has done

Last Friday as I was reading one particular French 2 student’s homework story I was impressed with her level of writing.  Granted, she is bright and highly motivated.  But the system I use to teach French to her and others is so powerful, that even if I’m not super skilled at it, learners will achieve.  Here was more evidence that the results have little to do with my skill as a teacher, but with the method!  So why the stress?

My husband Mike and I were walking on Saturday, and I was sharing with him how pleased I was at this girl’s ability and how it is due to this fantastic way of teaching foreign languages.  He reminded me that I ‘angst’ all the time about being ‘good enough/ skilled enough’ with the method and that I need NOT play that anxious game anymore.  All of a sudden, I saw the application to my anxiety about sharing the Gospel.  If I truly believe that the power of God is in the Gospel, then why should I worry about ‘doing it’ right?  It’s not all up to me.  Just like teaching French via this input method is not all up to me.  The method works. I just have to use it and trust it.

This is exciting; because the immediate implication is that I don’t have to be PERFECT.  I just have to be willing to DO it.  I’m ashamed to say that often pride gets in the way of this truth and I WANT to do it well. Here’s what happens:

I am a blog-lurker.  I read blogs every day whose content is either Christianity (doctrine, practice, defending/ presenting the faith) or French (content, culture, current events, methodology).  Many days I come away feeling inadequate, that I’m not as good as other Christians or other language teachers who use the method of TPRS® (teaching proficiency through reading & storytelling). Yet I should know better about my profession because at the summer conferences I attend, one of the mantras is:  “Poor TPRS is better than NO TPRS”

To be logical I should tell myself, “Exalting Jesus in some way is better than keeping my mouth shut”.  So why don’t I exalt Jesus every day?”  The truth is, I can get away with not opening my mouth about Jesus.  I’m paid and held accountable for teaching French each day.  There are immediate consequences if I simply conduct a study hall in each class, day after day.  What are the consequences if I don’t open my mouth about Jesus?

I don’t have to list them for you…they are actually far more serious.  So why am I reluctant?  Expectations!  My school kids expect me to teach them French.  What is the expectation of those people whose paths I cross each day?  Well, I actually don’t know.  Who’s not to say that they were prepared by God to meet someone who would tell them some good news?   After all, there is precedence in the Bible.  Cornelius (Acts 10) was told by an angel in a vision to send a message to Peter.  Likewise Peter while praying was prompted to let go of certain food rituals.  These two unlikely people met (because they were obedient) and it made a HUGE difference in their lives and in the Kingdom.

In conclusion….pray that you and I be obedient to God’s commands. As ordinary Christians, our daily duty falls SOMEWHERE between these two expectations:

• Matt 28:18-20 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
• 1 Pet 3:15  But in your hearts set Christ apart as holy as Lord. Always be ready to give a logical defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope that is in you, but do it courteously and respectfully.

 

 

 

Making the most of each moment

Col 3 :17   And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him

School has started again.  I was nervous yesterday, during our teacher workday.  The idea of facing 6 preps made me doubt whether I could pull it off, again.  Of course I know that I can trust God to stretch my time and help me.  But facing my fears again, I realized that in actuality, I am no better than an unbeliever.

How is that?  In writing our son Wes who just started Ranger School, I was researching the actual meaning of the Hebrew word to trust (betach-  Strong’s #982).  It is found all over the OT, but I was encouraging Wes with the Isaiah verse 26:3 – You will keep him in perfect peace him whose mind is stayed on You because he TRUSTS You.

The word for trust suggests that confident and happy feeling of peace that one has when one can rely on someone completely.  Who wouldn’t want that!

This morning as I was meditating about school, I realized that I don’t REALLY trust God, because that kind of peace was absent.  Then while listening to a sermon about Boaz and Ruth, I heard the pastor explain the extraordinary results of several small moments of faithful action on the part of Boaz.  He trusted God in ordinary moments and did what was righteous.  The marvelous results from his ordinary obedience in the moment created a lineage leading to David.  Ultimately the birth of Jesus, a descendent of David,  resulted from Boaz’ faithful and kind attitude toward Ruth.

Suddenly, in a flash, I saw that what I needed to trust God for has NOTHING to do with me being a competent teacher.  My responsibility is to act faithfully in the moment, whether that means slowing down and listening to a student for 30 seconds, really hearing the pain in a colleague’s voice and responding appropriately, thanking a friend for a kindness, ordering my desk before I leave school, adopting a cheerful demeanor, or culling all complaining from my thoughts.  If I am faithful in the small moments that come to me like the waves upon the shore, then God will help me with the bigger stuff, the French and logic lessons to plan and deliver.

The pressure seemed to lessen immediately.  My insight reminded me of an essay I read earlier in the week about the 10,000 moment rule.  You might have heard of Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers?  He talks about how gifted performers or successful people seem to have practiced their art for 10,000 hours.  This qualification applies to the Beatles, to Canadian ice hockey players, violinists or even computer gurus like Bill Gates, you name it.  Paul Tripp’s version is less intimidating and more accessible.  He says that 10,000 moments (basically a large #) create a habit.  Each little seemingly incidental moment actually does count, because it is one more link in a chain, thereby forging a habit or character trait.

So how I act faithfully in the moment at school vis-à-vis my environment (people) is more important than my supposed-all-important-polished French lesson.  Here I’ve been stressing over my ‘skills’, when all God wants me to do is live each moment righteously (‘making right decisions that honor God’- Ruth Graham’s definition) and trust Him for the rest.

I can do that….with God’s help.  Ultimately, it’s not about me and my needs, but about the more extensive picture/ scene that is going on all around me.  God has thousands of characters for whom He is working out His purposes.  May I be faithful to the role He has me to play.

Here is the link to the piece I read by Paul Tripp:   Essay about 10,000 moments

Following my own advice when discouraged

Rejoice always, pray continuously and in everything give thanks, for this is God’s will for Christ. 1 Thess 5:16-18

“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander”, so goes the folk wisdom. Only in my case, what I’m preaching to my gander, I need to follow myself.

My beloved is depressed due to a job he can’t stand and much uncertainty surrounding it.  He feels stuck because he needs to endure 3 more years in this job to qualify for a small pension from the government.  His body reacts with physical symptoms due to his dark gray feelings. His body’s response deepens his depression.  It feels like a vicious circle.

I spend time searching scripture to encourage him with God’s word.  Verses like:

• Ascribe to the Lord power and strength  (i.e. don’t build up the circumstances and make them seem insurmountable)  (Ps 68:34)
• But as for me, I will look to the Lord and confident in Him I will keep watch; I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me! (Micah 7:7)
• Though the fig tree does not blossom….. (my version – though life is REALLY HARD right now)….yet will I rejoice in the Lord.  (Hab 3: 17….19)
• As a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes (Prov 23:7)
• I can do ALL things through Him who strengthens me (Phil 4:19)
• I pray that the eyes of Mike’s heart may be enlightened in order that he may know …….. his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength ²⁰ he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead. (Eph 1: 18-19)

But when my husband doesn’t respond to my encouragement, I can fall into feeling down too!

But wait a second!  I’m being two-faced then.  Who am I to succumb to my feelings?  If I am called to be my husband’s Ezer, his companion to help him, then God has equipped me.   I don’t have to battle his depression on my own!  I don’t have to let it bring me down.

If I’m encouraging Mike to change his self-talk, then I need to listen to my own advice.  I need to talk to myself, tell myself Truth from God’s word and not listen to my feelings which are based on incomplete knowledge.  I need to rejoice that God has given me the power to encourage Mike.  Paraphrasing Paul in 1 Cor. 15 “I worked hard…yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me!”  When I feel weak like I can’t summon up any more encouragement for Mike, I MUST tell myself the truth. I don’t have to succumb to discouragement.   Yes there is trouble in life, but Christ is with me to fight on.  I might not sense that I have the resources or energy to be an encouragement tonight, but I CAN trust God that He will provide manna for the evening, not now, but IN THE MOMENT.  “As is my day, so too is the STRENGTH, the REST and the SECURITY that God provides” (Deut 33:25) I can count on Him to provide manna in the moment.

Putting on my belt of truth and lifting up my shield of faith in Christ to ward off the fears and doubts with which the enemy so delights in barraging me.

A new test from God

Biblical Principle:

Prov 16: 9 – The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

What I say to God:

Psalm 31:3
Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

What God says to me:

Exodus 4:12

Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what to say!

**

I had been looking forward to Blaine Ray’s workshop next week.  He is the founder of the foreign language methodology I use (TPRS® – teaching proficiency through reading & storytelling).  When I had read in the literature that he was coming to Newport News, I had contacted him in the winter and asked him to dinner one of the nights.  I wanted my husband to meet him and for us to get to spend some time with this delightfully witty trainer of foreign language teachers.  So earlier this week I emailed Blaine to make sure the workshop was still a go for 9-10 July 2010.  He wrote back and said he had been experiencing some dizziness and hoped that it would clear up before his Virginia workshops.  I wrote that down as a prayer request.

So Friday, 2 July, I prayed for Blaine and told God that his health was not something I had control over and would He please bless Blaine so he could come to town for the workshop and our dinner.

I almost dropped the phone when later that morning he called me on my cell and told me that he would NOT be able to present at either the Washington, DC workshop (2 days) or the one here in Southeastern Virginia (2 days).  And would I present for him? Long story short – after an incredulous reaction – ME??????, I said I would pray about it and talk to my husband.  Mike was busy at first, but I was able to talk with Marilyn, my principle, through tears and tissues – (I don’t even feel I practice the techniques well!). With both her and my husband’s enthusiastic support, I actually began to feel excited about the possibility.  I called Blaine back and said I would be willing and with God’s help, would do my best, but asked, “Are you REALLY sure you want ME?” Turns out, no one else is available and the alternative would be to cancel the workshops.   So God is choosing to use a jar of clay in order to get the gloryJ

I knew right away that I would REALLY benefit from this challenge.  It had never even crossed my mind to be interested in being a trainer.  I’ve been practicing TPRS and going to conferences and workshops for 8 years, but feel far from competent. I have an occasional good day when it all comes together – student engagement and enthusiasm, an ability to be creative and think on my feet and the sense that the kids really acquired some language through a good story we developed together about something that interested them.  When they bounce out of my French class chatting about the story, I feel fantastic.  But not every day is a homerun.  Some days I fall flat on my face and there is no energy among the teens.

So, why am I telling you this?

Because I know this is a TEST from God.  Not one of those ‘gottcha – you weren’t prepared’ tests.  This testing is about whether I will CHOOSE to trust God for all the unknown details and not play the WHAT IF game, fretting and fearing.  To be honest – I’ve already spent 2 restless nights and had the beginnings of a migraine last night and I don’t even get migraines.  Here is what I have to keep handing back over to God:

• Attendees’ reactions when it registers with them that Blaine is not presenting.
• Will my computer, the sound system and the projector work?
• Will I be able to fill and follow the schedule adequately from 8 to 2:30 on both days of each workshop?
• Will catered lunch show up on time?
• Will these language teachers be nice to me?
• Will I be able to think on my feet and develop a story in French as we go and sustain it while demonstrating all the proper techniques?
• When I do the workshop a 2^nd time here in my hometown, what will the 2 teachers I know (one from my school) say when they see ME, their peer?
• And what about anything else that I haven’t even thought about?
• What has Blaine failed to tell me because he does these workshops in his sleep? (after all, he came up with this method)

Mike gently keeps pointing me back to God.  I appreciate that.  So, with God’s help, I will trust the good shepherd and not be afraid.   I will step into this new territory and buck up like Joshua when God told him basically – “Dude, haven’t I already told you to FEAR NOT!  I’m going with you; I’ll work out solutions for you as problems arise.  You are not alone.”

Pray for me – not that it goes well, though I hope it does.  But that I win the battle in the mind and keep casting these worry thoughts back on Him.  I’m looking forward to reporting back to you next week how God did more than I could ask or imagine.

Know….!

Psalm 46: 10 Be still and know that I am God.

Psalm 100:3 Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his;…

Okay, so we know a lot of God’s commands to us:  Wait/ Fear not/Fret not/ Love/ Do justice/Trust and obey/ Honor/ Give/ Baptize/Teach/ Pray/Be strong/Take refuge/Lean on/Count it pure joy/Set your mind on things above….

We could go on and on.  But have you ever considered that we are commanded to KNOW certain things?  I had never seen this before yesterday.  If God is actually commanding us to know certain truths, then it really IS true that we are to love God with our minds as well as our heart and our soul and our strength.  Mark 12:30 says and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength’

Why would it be important to know certain things?  Knowing doctrine or truths about God and knowing his character are fundamental to being able to love, trust and eventually obey God.  We can’t love someone without knowing content about him.  And why would we trust anything or anybody with our eternal future or even our life without knowing if it/he is trustworthy.  Knowledge IS vital. This world is a corrupted and dangerous place; we face dangers within and without. There are choices to be made.    Life and death await us as consequences for what we do and do not know.

Finally, knowing is not just an instantaneous action commanded by God.  Inherent in knowing is learning and study.  That is why we have to invest time so that we CAN know the truths of God, the story of God, the promises of God, the character of God.  And once we know about God, we need to keep telling ourselves over and over again all this good news.  To obey God’s command to KNOW will be an activity that lasts a lifetime.

Reactions worth emulating, taken from the Life of David

1 Sam 30: 1-6  Now when David and his men came to Ziklag on the third day, the Amalekites had made a raid against the Negeb and against Ziklag. They had overcome Ziklag and burned it with fire and taken captive the women and all who were in it, both small and great. They killed no one, but carried them off and went their way. And when David and his men came to the city, they found it burned with fire, and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. Then David and the people who were with him raised their voices and wept until they had no more strength to weep. David’s two wives also had been taken captive, Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel. And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because all the people were bitter in soul, each for his sons and daughters. But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God.

David’s men had every right to be upset over the kidnapping of their families.  The Amalekites were not present to absorb this outrage, so it was directed at their own beloved leader, David. Had they stopped to think rationally, they would have concluded that clearly David was not responsible for this disaster.  After all, he suffered the same loss as his men.

What stuns me is how David did not argue with them or show any fear or start to make plans.  He immediately turned to the Lord for his strength.   What did that look like?   He must have privately poured out his grief over the loss of his wives and sought God’s counsel about how to deal with his men.  Did this last 30 seconds or 2 hours?  Was there much time before his men actually picked up stones?  We don’t know.

But his next step was to consult with the priest and pray publicly to the Lord for a plan.  God answered and David moved into leader-mode and constructed a rescue plan that eventually succeeded.  All family members were saved.  David’s priorities in the face of a leadership and life crisis were vindicated.

**

2 Samuel 5: 9-12

And David lived in the stronghold and called it the city of David. And David built the city all around from the Millo inward.  And David became greater and greater, for the LORD, the God of hosts, was with him.   And Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David, and cedar trees, also carpenters and masons who built David a house.  And David knew that the LORD had established him king over Israel, and that he had exalted his kingdom for the sake of his people Israel.

In this passage, David had been anointed King over both Judah and Israel and was enjoying great success.  Scripture tells us the reason was due to God being with him. But what was David’s assessment?  Was his stature and international renown due to his own prowess?  How encouraging it is to follow David’s thought process when foreigners bestow him with gifts.  A lesser man could easily conclude that this good fortune was due to his own greatness.  But David lived with the sovereign intervention of God in his life.  Had his life unfolded as his mom and dad expected, he’d still be a shepherd and last in line to inherit anything. David clearly understood that it was God who had cast him in this leading role and that God was the director and had his own purposes for Israel.

One can read elsewhere how David did not always act righteously, but here, at least, are two examples that offer us patterns to emulate.  In the face of immediate disaster, David turned to God.  In the face of impressive success, David acknowledged God’s agenda and doing.  He was neither too worried about his circumstances, nor too impressed with his own curriculum vitae.  His eyes were on God in either case.  May it be so with us.

Making decisions – God’s way

Prov 16:9 – A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.

Prov 21:31 – The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but deliverance and victory are of the Lord.

Psalm 33:22 – Let Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, be upon us, in proportion to our waiting and hoping for You.

Lamentations 3:25 – The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him

My question as I start the New Year – when do we submit and assume that present circumstances, however painful they are, are from the Lord and are being used for our sanctification?  And when do we work to change our circumstances?    Or to pose the question another way – do we do nothing in a trying situation and trust the Lord to bring about change?  Or do we do something and trust the Lord that He will guide our strivings?

Maybe I’m committing the fallacy of bifurcation, setting the question up as an either/or dilemma.  It’s hard to know.

In past decisions that we have made as believers, my husband and I waited for a sign and then acted, all along trusting that God was in the whole process, guiding it.  For example, three years ago I asked God for a sign to leave my former school and it eventually came (the waiting and trusting part).  Then I had to find another job (the action and trusting part).  More recently, we wanted to leave our former church.  We waited until my husband felt the time was right.  We looked (action) for another church and settled in quickly.

Now we are in a situation that feels heavy with import.  My husband is in a job that is unbearable most days – it sucks his soul dry.  He dreads it.  Through it all, he has depended on God for a good attitude and to help him to make a contribution.  And God has sustained him.  Is this ‘wrong’ job part of the sanctification process and therefore it would be a mistake to seek out something else?  Or maybe the whole trusting God through the job search adventure is the sanctification process?  Scripture seems to counsel both:  waiting and doing.

I think a situation similar to ours would be one in which a couple would like to have children but can’t seem to get pregnant.  Do they take things into their own hands and try fertility treatments?  Do they start the adoption process?  Or do they just accept they are childless and leave it as being their ‘chosen, assigned portion’, their cup or lot.   What do we do with those desires – the desire for a child, the desire for a job that brings joy?

At times I don’t know what to think.  As a wife, I want to give my husband good, biblical counsel.  I don’t want to steer him wrong and fall into traps similar to those that tripped up our first mothers (Eve, Sarah, Rebecca).  I can be encouraging to him one night and then fearful in the morning.  Nonetheless, here is how I leave the dilemma at the end of each day.  I remind myself and trust myself to God’s hands and His unchanging sovereignty.  After all, we are just pilgrims on His journey.  He IS directing the journey.  He put us on this planet at this time, in this country, among these people, with this skill set and outlook.  He, alone, has the plan.  This impatient traveller wants a glimpse at the map!